Sweet Memories - Valentine's Day!

It was the day when i came down to your house. Surprisingly your mom n dad weren't there. I started reading books at your home with an alibi that I was waiting for your brother but I knew that you were aware of the purpose i was there. I looked at you relentlessly but you were so immersed in looking outside that you left me disappointed.

I was trying to peep at you and make a regular sound, but you were motionless. My body was growing cold with the cool breeze that flew across and your long blackish brown hair just shuffled over your chin because of the breeze, making me feel irresistible to you. When you just pulled it back from your rosy chin and ears which had faint streaks of hair it just killed me. Your white dress made you look like an angel. Your eyes were like pomegranates that have freshly taken birth. Your lips were as red as a red rose. When you walked, it created an angel path for me, when you gave me an occasional look I felt like I had been blessed with god's best wishes. When you giggled each time it made me feel that I was growing closer to you. And when you yawned and stretched I felt sleazy; for your ignorance of a stranger.

What are you telling me, Don't you mind doing things that you are not supposed to in front of a stranger or have you chosen me to be your man. I rush through a labyrinthine thought process. All of a sudden when you ask me "coffee or tea", I out of confusion just utter coffee and see you smiling again. I wish that those moments were stretched to eternity and stored in my hard disk forever. I keep seeing you though I don't own you; you keep giving me an occasional look and smile. When you keep doing that, my heart pounds like a battering ram and it keeps pushing me towards making you my Juliet.

I finally make a decision that I would do it today. I slowly gather strength and courage to propose to you. I pick up the rose that I had hidden secretly and start advancing towards you. When you hear my foot steps and turn back in surprise I just close my eyes to offer you the rose and tell you -

"I love you more than what a mother does to its offspring, more than what a Swallow does to a flower, more than what a man does to his life.Would you be my princess and accept me to serve your life as your better half?"

Then I turn back for your ultimate reply. You come after an eternal minute, then place your hand on my hand and smile at me tauntingly. With that a rush of warmth fills my blood, I go mad with joy and ecstasy and not able to control my 4 year love, I start sobbing."

All of a sudden I woke up to the reality to find my watch showing Morning 8:00, February 14 th. Its 20 years since that day passed in my life. As I start brushing my teeth blood flows as the toothbrush strikes hard in my jaws. But tears flow through my eyes for what I faced that day even today. I still remember how you shouted at me when I proposed you that day. You did not like me, but more than that you had no right to punish me. You chose to vilify me and tell my parents that I created a problem for you at the college which I never did. The bell rang as the maid had come and I wiped my eyes with a towel. As I start going to my office in my car I remember how my parents kept crying for their son's conduct. How they felt insulted when your parents came to my home to fight for the cause. And after that how I would become a laughing stock in my college days. I remember each time when you passed across me which created a murdering shiver and insult. That day when I unfortunately ran across you, which was by pure mistake, you made a mess out of it and complained to the principal. I still know how I was made to take off my shirt and walk while kneeling in those corridors. When my parents heard that, they could take it no more. The worst they stopped believing me.

I ran away from my house for the biggest insult of my life. I did not want my parents to own their son's misdoings. Suddenly the traffic signal turned red. I reach my office and have just finished a meeting. My secretary says that she wants a half day leave with a wild smile because its 14th. I let her go. Again I remember the day when I chose to leave that locality since no body believed me. I left my home, my place and my IDENTITY.

After 20 years I still find it difficult to spend a lonely life abandoned by my home, abandoned by self. I still don't dare to speak to a girl looking into her eyes; people take me for granted thinking that I belong to some anachronistic times. It's a lonely life with no family of my own and I am already 42 today. And each time I see this date, I ask myself "Did I deserve this?"

Just then I see a greeting which carries the words - "Happy Valentines Day!"

And I laugh in my solitude, waiting for the next day to arrive...

"Not every one is lucky and not every one is necessarily brave. Let god chose to partner such hapless."

Written by: Ravi Shanker J.P., Osmania University, Hyderabad